Iyo uwo mwakundanaga akwanze, usigarana agahinda no kumva wanze ibyisi byose ndetse ugatangira kugira ugushidikanya kwinshi haba ku bushobozi bwawe bw’imibanire n’urukundo ndetse ukanatangira kwibaza niba hari icyizere ko uzongera kubona umukunzi uguhoza amarira.
Ikiri ukuri ni uko uko kuvunwa umutima , ibikomere n’agahinda uba utewe no gutandukana n’umukunzi bisiga amasomo meza y’ubuzima.
Nyuma yo gutandukana n’uwo mwakundanaga wumva ko ari ibihe bigoye gucamo. Bamwe baza bakwihanganisha bakubwira ko bizashira ndetse ko uzabona undi mukunzi ukurutira uwa mbere,…
Kwigunga n’agahinda bituma benshi bata umwanya bibaza icyatumye batandukana, aho kugira ngo nibura bakuremo amasomo. Nyamara ukwiye kumenya ko urukundo rwatumye ugira byinshi wunguka mu bijyanye no kubana ahubwo ukanagira imbaraga zo kugira byinshi bishya wigiramo.
Abakeka ko baba barataye umwanya bakundana n’abantu batari bo; abo baba bibeshya, kuko urukundo wanyuzemo ruguha amahirwe yo kumenya byinshi ugahora wigira kuri ibyo byahise, ukarushaho kwimenya neza ukanasobanukirwa urukundo nyarwo
Twifashishije womanitely.com dukusanya bimwe mu byagufasha kugendera ku mateka y’urukundo rwashize ukabasha kubona igisubizo cy’ibibazo byose bituma wumva ugize ubwoba mu rukundo nyuma yo gutandukana n’umukunzi wawe. Ibi ni ibintu 7 ukwiye kwigira kugutandukana n’umukunzi:
1. Ukeneye umwanya wawe wihariye
Abantu benshi bakeka ko urukundo nyarwo rusobanuye ko abakundana bakwiye guhora bari kumwe amasaha 24/24. Bene izi gahunda zituma utakaza indangagaciro z’uwo uri we wa nyawe mu gihe gito.
Ni ngombwa ko buri wese agomba kubona umwanya agakora ibyo asabwa ukwe kugira ngo yuzuze inshingano zituma abaho atiteze ubufasha bwa mugenzi we. Niba guhorana n’umukuzi igihe cyose ari byo byatumye utandukana n’uwo ukunda, jya uhora ubizirikana ko udakwiye guta indangagaciro z’uwo uri we, kuko nyuma bizakugora.
2. Ibihe byiza ntibihoraho
Ibihe by’ibyishimo n’umunezero hagati y’abakundana biraryoha bigatuma wumva uri kugurukira ku mababa y’urukundo. Mu gihe wishimye, umara amasaha n’amasaha ugerageza gutonesha no gutetesha umukunzi wawe, wambara neza uko ushoboye mukaganira izuba rikarinda rirenga mwumva mugikumburanye.
Nyamara, ugomba guhora uzirikana ko nta byera ngo de! Urukundo ni igihe uba witeguye gusangira n’uwo ukunda ibyiza n’ibibi. Urukundo rukura mu gihe cyose uba witeguye kwishimana no kubabarana n’uwo ukunda, iyo bitari ibyo ntiruba rukiri urwa nyarwo.
3. Umukunzi wawe si umutungo wawe
Muri iki gihe tugezemo dusigaye tubaho mu bwisanzure na demokarasi bisesuye, aho abantu banganya uburenganzira n’inshingano. Byongeye kandi twemererwa kugaragaza amarangamutima y’akaturimo no kubaho ubuzima twigengamo. Uko mwaba mukundana kose rero ugomba kumenya ko umukunzi wawe atari umutungo wawe. Abantu bakundana urukundo rwa nyarwo bakwiye guharanira ubu bwisanzure bagakundana bahana icyubahiro.
Umukunzi wawe ni uwawe ariko si umutungo wawe. Ntushobora kugenzura imico yose ngo uhore ucungacunga buri ntambwe ateye na buri kimenyetso akoze, kuko bitazatuma icyizere mwagiranaga gikendera gusa, ahubwo bizanatuma urukundo rwanyu ruyoyoka burundu. Icy’ingenzi ugomba gukora ni ukumwizera, mugashyiraho amategeko rusange mugenderaho abagenga n’ibyo mwiyemeje gukurikiza mudahemukiranye.
4. Igire, ikunde bihagije ubone gukundana
Bibaho ko abandi bantu bashobora guhindura ubuzima bwawe bakabwuzuzamo umunezero n’ibyishimo, ariko ugomba kumenya ko abantu batazakwuzuriza ibyifuzo byawe n’imigambi yawe yose. Ntugomba gutegera byose ku mukunzi wawe.
Mbere na mbere ugomba kwihingamo umuco wo kubanza kwikunda ubwawe, mbere y’uko wumva ko ugomba gusangiza abandi urukundo wenda utanifitemo. Banza wigenzure, wishakemo urukundo urwibonemo kandi ruhagije. Ntibigoye bisaba gusa guhindura ibikorwa byawe, ibitekerezo, amarangamutima n’imyitwarire yawe.
5. Witekereza guhindura umukunzi wawe
Ushobora guhindura ibintu byinshi kuri iyi Si, ariko bisa nk’ibidashoboka guhindura imimerere n’imigenzo by’uwo ukunda. Icyo ugomba gukora gusa ni ukumwereka ibyiza n’inzira ibyo ubona bye bitakunyura byakosorwamo, niba ari uwuva i buzimu ajy’i buntu bizahita byikora.
Umuntu yifitemo kamere y’uko yanga byaba ibitekerezo cyangwa ibikorwa bindi mu gihe abona ko abihatiwe. Nubikora buhoro buhoro n’umutima utuje, uzabona umukunzi wawe ahinduka ariko birashoboka ko ushobora kongera kubona yongeye gusubira kuba uwo yari we mbere.
Niba hari ibyo udashobora kwihanganira ku mukunzi wawe, ushobora guhindura uburyo wabikoragamo ukabikora uciye mu zindi nzira. Ni byiza kujya ukora ibintu utuje, ugashakira igisubizo ikibazo mufite mu buryo butuje bw’ubworoherane.
6. Umva ijwi ry’ibikurimo imbere muri wowe
Imyitwarire n’imico byawe mu rukundo bishobora kugaragaza ibyo ugirira ubwoba n’ibyo utinya biri mu mitekerereze yawe y’imbere. Niba ushaka kugira urukundo ruhamye, ukwiye kubanza gutega amatwi amagambo wumva aguturukamo imbere muri wowe, ava mu byo utinya n’ibikurwanira mu mutima wawe.
Byongeye kandi, ugomba kubanza gukora ibishoboka byose kugira ngo ubashe gukemura ibikurwaniramo. Tangira wikunde ubwawe nibwo uzabasha gusangiza abandi urukundo rwawe.
7.Tera intambwe ukunde bushya, wirengagize ibyashize
Bigaragara ko inkundo tuba twaranyuzemo zitwigisha uko dushobora kugira urukundo rushya rwuje ibyishimo. Nyuma y’igihe utekereza ku yandi mahirwe ufite yo kubaka urukundo rushya rwuzuye umunezero, ushobora kubona ko bitakiri ngombwa gukomeza guta umwanya wawe ku rukundo wahozemo n’uwo mwatandukanye.
Urukundo rubi rutagira umunezero wahozemo rwagombye kugusigira isomo ryo guharanira umunezero wari warabuze. Byongeye, ugomba gukoresha aya mahirwe ukava mu bya kera ugatangira urukundo nyarwo rw’ubuzima bwawe bwose. Ntuzongere kubabaza umutima wawe utekereza ku by’urukundo wahozemo, kuko ibi bishobora kugufasha kugira icyerekezo gishya ugatangira urukundo ruzima.
Urukundo ni igice gikomeye mu iterambere ry’ubuzima bwawe. Inkundo nziza cyangwa imbi zigufasha gukura no kuba umuntu uhamye. Ugomba gukomera kugira ngo urenge ibibazo n’izindi ngorane wahuye nazo mu rukundo, niba wifuza kwishima.
